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Difficult conversations

Say the hard thing out loud before you have to say it for real.

Some conversations are hard not because of what you want, but because of how the other person might react. Tears, anger, silence, blame. Practice keeping your message clear when the emotions arrive.

Why these conversations get postponed

  • Fear of the reaction

    You can plan the first sentence. The problem is the second, when the other person gets upset.

  • Softening until nothing is left

    Trying to be kind, people blur the message so much that the other side does not hear it.

  • Getting pulled into the argument

    A defensive reply triggers your own, and the conversation turns into who is right.

Situations you can rehearse

  • Conflict with a colleague

    Someone keeps taking credit or missing handoffs, and it is affecting your work.

  • Saying no

    Refusing a request from someone senior or someone you like, without damaging the relationship.

  • Delivering bad news

    A cancelled project, a rejected proposal, a change that affects the other person directly.

  • Setting a boundary

    Telling someone that a pattern has to stop, and holding the line when they push back.

A counterpart who reacts like a person

The other side has their own view of what happened, feelings they may not show right away and reasons you do not know about. If you acknowledge them, they open up. If you lecture, they close down. You can pick how sensitive or defensive they are.

What the feedback looks at

Whether your core message was said clearly and early, how you responded to emotion, whether you listened before explaining and whether you ended with an agreement. Each point comes with the exact sentence it refers to.

Conversations by situation

How it works in the product

The conversation will not get easier by waiting

Rehearse it in a safe place first, then have it for real.