Interviews and career
How to talk to your manager about returning from parental leave
Set up a conversation before your first day so you both know what to prepare for. Say what you want to focus on, what time constraints you have and what you need to get started. Also find out what has changed in the team while you were away.
How to handle this conversation
Start with wanting to be back
“I am glad to be coming back and I want to plan the first few weeks well.” That frames the conversation as joint planning, not a list of problems.
State your constraints
Nursery pickup times or days you need to leave early, say them plainly: “Monday to Thursday I can work until four.”
Ask about changes and your projects
Someone took over your work while you were away. Ask: “Which projects are coming back to me and which are staying with others?”
Agree to check in
The first weeks will show what works. Suggest a short meeting after a month to see whether the arrangements hold up.
I am returning to work after parental leave
- Difficulty
- Medium
- Duration
- 10-15 minutes
The situation
After a year of parental leave, you go back to work in two weeks. The team has changed, and your most important projects are now run by someone else. You set up a meeting with your manager to agree on your responsibilities and working hours. You want interesting work, and you also want a predictable day.
Who you talk to
Your manager
Glad you are coming back and kind, but she already has the team arranged. She assumes you would prefer lighter work and offers it before you ask. She also wonders aloud how your hours will fit with team meetings.
The counterpart also has private goals and information that are never shown upfront. You discover them only through the conversation, the same way you would in real life.
What makes it hard
- Your manager assumes what you need and offers less ambitious work.
- Your old project is now with someone else.
- Talk about working hours drifts into general worries about availability.
Your goals
- Say clearly which work you want to focus on
- Agree on working hours and how you can be reached
- Set a date to review the arrangements after the first weeks
What the report looks at
- Whether you state your expectations instead of accepting your manager’s assumptions
- How you present your time constraints
- Whether you ask about changes in the team and projects
- Whether the conversation ends with concrete agreements