Interviews and career
How to ask a former boss for a reference
Call or write with a specific request: who may get in touch and when, what role you are applying for and what is worth mentioning. Remind them of one or two projects you worked on together. Make it easy to say no, because a reluctant reference does more harm than none.
How to handle this conversation
Open with the request, not an apology
“Hi, I am applying for a project manager role and wanted to ask whether you would be willing to be a reference for me.” No long preamble about being sorry to bother them.
Refresh their memory
A former boss may have forgotten the details. Offer something specific: “The most relevant thing is probably the new ordering process I rolled out in my second year.”
Tell them what to expect
Say who will call, roughly when and what they might ask. That way the reference sounds confident rather than caught off guard.
Leave a way out
“If this is awkward for you right now, I completely understand.” Better to hear no now than a lukewarm comment when the new employer calls.
I am asking my former boss for a reference
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Duration
- 5-8 minutes
The situation
You are in the final stage of a hiring process, and the new employer asks for a contact who can recommend you. Your former manager led you for two years, but you have not spoken in over a year, and you parted on polite rather than close terms. You call him with your request.
Who you talk to
Your former manager
Busy and a little surprised by the call. He does not remember exactly what you worked on, asks why you are asking him and hesitates, because he does not like speaking about people unprepared.
The counterpart also has private goals and information that are never shown upfront. You discover them only through the conversation, the same way you would in real life.
What makes it hard
- He does not remember the details of your work.
- He asks why you are not asking your current boss.
- His hesitation tempts you to withdraw the request.
Your goals
- State the request and its context clearly
- Remind him of specific projects worth mentioning
- Agree on who will call and when, or accept a no gracefully
What the report looks at
- Whether the request comes early in the call
- Whether you offer concrete examples of your work
- How you answer the question about your current manager
- Whether the call ends with a clear agreement