Talking to employees
How to talk to an employee who does not follow instructions
Focus on specific, recent examples and the effect they have on the team, not on the person’s character. State the expectation clearly, listen to their side and agree on what will change. Close with how and when you will check that it has.
How to handle this conversation
Use recent, concrete examples
Specifics are hard to dispute: “This week you came in after nine on Monday and Wednesday, and the client report was not updated as agreed.”
Do not get pulled into comparisons
When you hear “others do it too”, bring it back: “We can talk about the team separately. Right now I am talking about your work.”
Ask before you conclude
There may be something you do not know: “Is there something making it hard to start on time?” Then decide what to do with the answer.
Agree on expectations and a check-in
End with something concrete: “From Monday, you start at nine and the report goes out on Fridays. Let us check in two weeks.”
Talking to an employee about behavior
- Difficulty
- Medium
- Duration
- 8-12 minutes
The situation
One of your team members has been arriving late for several weeks and skipping steps you have explained more than once. Colleagues are starting to notice and pick up the slack. You have asked for a one-to-one. You want the behavior to change without damaging the working relationship.
Who you talk to
Your team member
Capable and generally liked, but relaxed about rules. Responds with excuses, points to colleagues who do the same and suggests you are being unfair.
The counterpart also has private goals and information that are never shown upfront. You discover them only through the conversation, the same way you would in real life.
What makes it hard
- Every example is met with an excuse or an exception.
- “Others do it too” shifts the focus away from their own behavior.
- The suggestion that you are unfair tempts you to back down.
Your goals
- Describe the problem with specific, recent examples
- Stay on topic when the conversation moves to other people
- Agree on clear expectations and a date to review them
What the report looks at
- Whether you used specific examples rather than general judgments
- How you respond to excuses and comparisons
- Whether you listened to their side before deciding
- Whether the talk ended with a clear expectation and a check-in date