Talking to employees
How to respond when an employee wants to leave
Start by listening, not by making an offer. Ask what led to the decision and whether anything could still change it, but accept a firm no. If they are going, thank them sincerely and agree on a handover plan, so the team is covered and the door stays open.
How to handle this conversation
Hold back the counteroffer
An immediate offer sounds like panic. First ask: “Thank you for telling me. Can you help me understand what led to this?”
Listen for the real reason
Money is often only part of it. Ask about workload, growth and the team, and listen without defending how things are.
Respect a firm decision
If the answer is clearly no, stop trying to change it: “I am sorry to lose you, and I respect your decision.” Pushing further damages the relationship.
Plan the handover together
Agree on the key projects, who will take them over and how the team hears the news, so the last weeks are productive, not awkward.
My key employee wants to leave
- Difficulty
- Medium
- Duration
- 8-12 minutes
The situation
One of your strongest team members has just asked for a quick word and told you they have accepted an offer elsewhere. They lead a project the team depends on, and you had plans for their growth. You are surprised and worried. You want to understand why, check whether there is any room to keep them, and make sure the transition goes well.
Who you talk to
Your team member
Respected, experienced and has already made up their mind. Polite but guarded, reluctant to share the full reasons and uncomfortable with any pressure to stay.
The counterpart also has private goals and information that are never shown upfront. You discover them only through the conversation, the same way you would in real life.
What makes it hard
- The decision is already made, so persuasion quickly feels like pressure.
- The real reasons only come out if you listen without defending the company.
- Your own worry about the project makes it hard to stay calm.
Your goals
- Understand the real reasons behind the decision
- Respond to a firm decision with respect, not pressure
- Agree on a handover plan and how to tell the team
What the report looks at
- Whether you listened before trying to persuade
- How you asked about the reasons behind the decision
- Whether you accepted a firm decision gracefully
- Whether the conversation ended with a concrete handover plan