Leading a team
How to talk to an employee who gives one-word answers
Do not fill the silence with your own answers: ask an open question and wait. Say what you have noticed in recent weeks without judgement, and ask what might help. If they are not ready, agree on another conversation instead of pushing.
How to handle this conversation
Name what you see
“I have the impression that for a few weeks you have been speaking up less in meetings and suggesting less. I want to understand what has changed.”
Ask openly and wait
Leave “What gives you the least satisfaction at work right now?” without hints. A few seconds of silence is often when the real answer comes.
Do not interrogate
Question after question shuts the conversation down. After an answer, sum it up in your own words: “So you miss projects where you get to decide?”
End with a small step
For example: “Think about which project you would like to take on by next week. We will come back to it then.”
I run a one-on-one with a disengaged team member
- Difficulty
- Medium to hard
- Duration
- 10-15 minutes
The situation
For a few weeks one person on your team has been withdrawn: short answers, no ideas and tasks handed in at the last minute, although they used to be one of the most active. You have a regular one-to-one with them and want to understand what is going on.
Who you talk to
Team member
Polite but closed. Says “everything is fine” and “I do not know,” and does not want to make a fuss. Opens up only when the conversation does not feel like an evaluation.
The counterpart also has private goals and information that are never shown upfront. You discover them only through the conversation, the same way you would in real life.
What makes it hard
- The answers are one word long and add nothing.
- They deny that anything has changed.
- The silence tempts you to supply answers yourself or end the meeting.
Your goals
- Create conditions in which they start to talk
- Find out what is behind the drop in engagement
- Agree on one concrete step and the date of the next conversation
What the report looks at
- The quality of your open questions and your ability to wait
- Whether you describe the change with facts, without judgement
- Whether you summarise and check your understanding
- Whether the conversation ends with an agreement rather than pressure